Love and business

Love is one-sided; it is only about what you give. Can't expect anything in return. Unfair by nature.

Business is two-sided; it's all about what you get in return. You receive accordingly to what you give. Fair by nature.

They are different, yet we often mix them up and become frustrated with the result.

We love people, and we set expectations from the start. We love, therefore, we want something in return. Love is conditioned by what the other person does for me. I love you as long as you do this.

We do business with people and get as much as we can; we look for the best deal for ourselves. The more I can get, the better negotiator I am. We pay less and expect to get more. We work for free, give discounts, don't get paid on time, and more, just to keep doing business with someone.

You see how mixed things are. Expectations are set in a way that you'll get frustrated no matter what.

Let's see how it changes when we adjust expectations accordingly:

We love someone and say to ourselves, "This has to be unfair." I'll do things for free, give as much as I can, be overly patient, and not expect anything in return, just to keep loving this person.

We do business and say to ourselves, "This has to be fair." The best deal is where we both get fair outcomes. I'm the best negotiator when I make sure I'm not taking advantage. All the work done is paid for, on time. We expect a fair return, just to keep doing business with this company.

It's wrong when love is conditioned to get something in return. It's wrong when doing business is conditioned to get more than the other party.

Love wrongly applied to business: a company that keeps working extra hours for free because they "like" the client and want to keep "doing business" with it.

Business wrongly applied to love: a partner who keeps score. "I did the dishes, so you owe me dinner". Love can't be transactional.

Don't do business with people you love, and don't love people you do business with.