Your Prayers Are Just Your Ego Speaking

I've been thinking about the way we pray.

Most of the time, when we pray, we're asking for something. We want a problem to disappear, an opportunity to come our way, someone to recover, or things to work out the way we expect.

I've done it myself.

But lately, I've been questioning whether that's what prayer is really supposed to be about.

I don't think we pray to change the plan. I think we pray to understand it.

And there's a big difference.

I believe our ego constantly tries to convince us that we know what's best for us. We have plans, expectations, and desires. And when life doesn't give us what we want, we get angry. Our bar is too high.

I see this happening more and more. Everything seems to revolve around me. What I want, what I need, and what I believe I deserve.

And when reality doesn't cooperate, I think something is wrong. Sometimes I even turn to prayer, asking God to fix things for me.

But think about that for a moment.

We believe there's a greater intelligence behind everything, a plan far bigger than anything we could understand, yet we pray, asking God to change it because it doesn't match what we want.

Isn't that a little arrogant?

We call it faith, but sometimes I wonder if it's just our ego disguised as humility.

We're basically telling God that our plan is a better plan.

I've caught myself doing exactly that. Praying for a particular outcome, convinced that it was the right thing for me, just because I wanted it.

And I've lived long enough to look back at some of those moments and realize that not getting what I wanted was probably the best thing that could have happened.

Things I desperately wanted that I'm now grateful never happened. Situations that seemed terrible at the time but eventually led to something good.

Of course, I couldn't see that while I was going through them.

And that's exactly the point.

We judge the whole picture by the tiny part we can see.

I think gratitude is what helps us get past that. Lots of people talk about it, but hardly anyone practices it.

And I'm not talking about being thankful when everything is going well. That's easy. Anyone can be grateful when life gives them exactly what they want.

The real challenge is being grateful when it doesn't.

Accepting that we may not know what's best. That something we consider a failure today might be necessary for something better tomorrow.

That doesn't mean we should stop trying.

I still have ambitions. I still make plans. I still work hard to make things happen.

But there's a difference between doing everything I can and believing that everything should happen the way I want.

One is responsibility. The other is ego.

And that's why I've started thinking about prayer differently.

Instead of asking God to give me what I want, I'd rather ask for the wisdom to understand what's happening.

Instead of asking for a different outcome, I'd rather ask for the strength to accept the one I get.

And when I can't understand what's happening, I'd rather be grateful for what I already have than frustrated about what I'm missing.

I don't pretend to understand God's plan. In fact, I think believing I could fully understand it would be another expression of the same ego I'm trying to overcome.

But I can recognize that my perspective is limited. It's ok to not know it all.

Maybe prayer is all about being grateful for what we already have.